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When you go through a divorce, your children often feel the impact the most. While the process can be stressful, you have the power to take steps that safeguard their emotional and financial well-being. By knowing what to focus on, you can help your children thrive during and after this major change.
Prioritize stability at home
Children need routine and predictability to feel secure. During a divorce, their world may feel uncertain. You can help by maintaining regular schedules for school, meals, and activities. Even small consistencies, like bedtime routines or weekly family traditions, can provide comfort. The more stability you provide, the easier it becomes for your children to adapt to new family dynamics.
Support their emotional health
Divorce can bring up feelings of confusion, sadness, or anger for children. Encourage open conversations and let them share their feelings without judgment. Reassure them that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents love them. You may also consider counseling or support groups where children can process their emotions in a safe space. Providing emotional outlets helps prevent lasting stress.
Work together as co-parents
Children benefit when parents cooperate, even after separation. Avoid arguments in front of them and keep communication respectful. Create a parenting plan that outlines responsibilities, visitation, and decision-making. Consistency between households helps children feel secure. When parents work as a team, children understand that their needs remain the top priority.
Encourage positive connections
Maintaining strong relationships with both parents is important for children’s growth. Support their bond with your co-parent, even if it feels difficult. Also, encourage connections with extended family, teachers, and friends who can provide additional support. Surrounding your children with positive influences reinforces their sense of belonging.
Helping your children move forward
Divorce changes many aspects of family life, but your approach can shape how your children experience it. By showing them patience, offering reassurance, and modeling respectful behavior, you give them tools they can carry into the future. Small, consistent actions today can help them build resilience and confidence for years to come.
Many people say, ” I will take care of things like my will and power of attorney when I get older”, this is not a good plan to protect your loved ones. Things happen to people even if young and healthy.
If you have young kids it is definitely important to have a will so you can be sure everything goes to your kids or who ever you want if you are gone, at what age your child will get full control of the assets, who will controll the funds until they reach that age and who will be the guardian of your kids if both parents are gone.
If you make a will you can choose who you want to be guardians of your kids if you and the other parent are gone. This is important otherwise someone who you do not want to raise your child could be the one who applies to be guardian and is approved by the court. You also can dictate at what age your child will get what ever assets are left to them. If you do not have a will and you have a child under 18 the money may go into the registry of the court were it will earn a very minimal amout and is hard to access when needed. Then when they turn 18 they get what ever is there to use how ever they want to spend it. If you have a will you can have a trust setup to hold the assets and you choose the person to be trustee. The trustee will be able to invest the money and will be able to give money to your child as needed.
It is also very important to have a will if you have children from a previous relationship. With no will it can get very complicated and the person you are currently married to could get cut out of assets you may want them to have. It requires more time in court which is more money your estate must pay. The heirs must be determined and the percentage to each heir is determined by statute, not by you. If you have separate real property that property may go to your child, even if a child of your current spouse. Your spouse may have to put up a bond and do annual accountings until the child turns 18. This can cause more expense and be more time consuming in a situation that is already difficult for the surviving spouse.
No matter your age it is wise to have powers of attorney. Medical POA will give the person you designate the ability to make decisions about your medical care if you are incapacitated. This is important as you get to choose the person who will make decisions. The financial POA is also important and very powerful. The person designated can basically do anything you could do if you were able. It is important that you make the financial POA effective only upon disability unless there is some specific need, and it should be limited to only that need. If you do not have these documents and become incapacitated then someone will mostly likely have to file for guardianship, which can get very expensive and is very restrictive.
If you have children who are 18 or older and they go off to college it is important to get them to sign a medical power of attorney. Even if you still pay 100% of their bills, the hospital or other medical providers will not give you any information or let you make a decision. If your child who is 18 or older was away somewhere and has an accident and they end up incapacitated and unable to communicate, the Dr or other medical personnel will not be able to give you any information about them without a medical power of attorney due to HIPPA laws. It is already a scary situation that can be made worse by not being able to get information or make decisions.
There is also a newer document that is a “Transfer on Death Deed”. This is a deed that is drafted, signed and filed while you are still alive. The document only becomes effective if on file when you die. It is also revokable so if you change your mind on who the property should go to upon your death, you can revoke it. If revoked prior to your death then it does nothing. This document is great to transfer interest to a spouse upon your death so they do not need to probate to have the property in their name. It also works well to transfer to children upon death of the last parent without the need for probate.
These are several things to consider to make things easier on your loved ones when you die. It is hard enough losing the ones we love, and the emotional hardship of the loss can be magnified if they do not have the documents in place to take care of the finances and property.
DWI ISSUES TO CONSIDER
We at the Foster Law Firm do not promote people driving while intoxicated. The law in Texas does allow someone to drink and then drive if they are not intoxicated. Intoxicated in Texas means having lost the normal use of your mental or physical faculties due to the consumption of alcohol or if you have a blood alcohol level of .08 or higher. It is up to individuals to make the decision if they have had too much to drink and it has affected their abilities. Even if you think it hasn’t, it is still possible and you could suffer the consequences of being arrested for DWI. These consequences can be very sever depending on the charge. We will discuss some of these consequences and things to consider if you do decide to drive after you have been drinking. The best option to avoid these penalties is to not drink and drive at all.
When someone is stopped for a legal reason and suspected of having consumed alcohol that is when the DWI investigation begins. The reason for the stop can vary from speeding to your license plate light not working and all things in between. You should always check your car to confirm all lights are working including, tail lights, brake lights, head lights, and the light on your license plate. Be sure your inspection is up to date. The reason to believe you might be intoxicated could be the way you were driving along with an odor of alcohol or even just the odor of alcohol when the officer comes to the vehicle. Everything from this point on can be critical to your future and the charges that can be filed.
If you are pulled over after you have been drinking, the first thing to know is, you do not have to answer any questions. Always be polite and cooperative with law enforcement, they are just doing their job. However, this does not mean that you have to answer questions about consuming alcohol, where you are coming from, etc. You may tell the officer you are exercising your right to remain silent. You can refuse to do the balance tests, also known as a field sobriety test. They will most likely ask you to follow a pen. If you have been drinking your best choice is to be polite and refuse any test including, following of the pen or other object, the walking test, and one leg stand. If you do these tests, they will be used against you at a later trial. If you are stoped and they smell alcohol, you are most likely going to jail no matter how well you do on the test. If you refuse, they will proceed to arrest you by placing you in handcuffs and put you in their car. Please just be polite and cooperative and you will have the ability to dispute your case later. If you get angry or belligerent that will also be used against you. Be aware there is most likely a camera in the car recording video and audio of you. The best advise is to no talk, make faces or fall asleep.
Once arrested they may read you the statutory warning and ask you to take a blood or breath test. You again have the right refuse the test. If you refuse, your license may be suspended. I say may because as long as you request a hearing within 15 days of your arrest you can challenge the suspension. IT IS VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU HIRE AN ATTORNEY IMMEDIATELY to preserve this valuable right. Your license will most likely get suspended but there are times when it does not for various reasons. If you take the test and fail it you will also most likely be suspended. If you have been drinking it is best not to take the test. They then have the ability to get a warrant and take a blood test if they choose. Again, let them do that because sometimes, they make mistakes in the process. If you agree to take the test you have waived many important rights.
There are also other consequences of taking the test. If you take the test consensually or by warrant, and it is .15 or higher your first time DWI is moved from a class B misdemeanor to a class A misdemeanor. This adjusts the range of punishment. Many counties are also now offering pretrial diversions programs for first time offenders however if the test amount is .15 or higher you may be disqualified. This is a very good reason not to take the test and risk disqualifying your self from this very important program. The PT diversion program is a great program that allows your case to eventually be dismissed if you complete the program.
If you have been arrested and taken to the jail it is important to continue to assert your rights not to answer questions other than your name. You have the right to not incriminate yourself and to not do any tests you are asked to take. You also should not discuss your matter with anyone in the jail including other inmates and guards. If you make a phone call to someone, remember that calls are recorded, so again do not say anything that could hurt your case. They do listen to these recordings and they do you use them against you.
Just remember, it is best to not drive if you are intoxicated or maybe drinking at all. If you are pulled over, be polite and cooperative with the officer but remember to not give up your rights and contact an attorney immediately after your arrest.
By: Lynn Foster and Lonnie Foster
Everyone in Texas who has attained the age of eighteen or who is or has been lawfully married, or who is a member of the armed forces of the United States or of the auxiliaries thereof or of the maritime service at the time the will is made, being of sound mind should consider a Will regardless of age.
If you have financial accounts only, or financial accounts and a house and certainly if you have children. This is true if you are young or old. Texas has a very simple method of probating a Will and provides for an Independent Administration which will save having to be subjected to an expensive method of dealing with your property.
Once the Will is probated the only requirement of the Court is to provide a final inventory of property. Your appointed Executor will not have to go back to the Court under most circumstances.
You can provide for a Trust for minor children in the Will and appoint a Trustee. The Trustee will be able to take care of the kids financially as you would have if you were still alive. It is important to pick someone who is financially stable and has the same beliefs and morals a you. The money from the trust can be turned over to the kids at any age that you choose, just not before eighteen (18).
You can also appoint a guardian for your children if something happens to both parents at the same time or something has already happened to your spouse. This gives the parents the ability to tell the court who they want to raise their kids if they are gone. Typically the court will honor this request unless they are not qualified to serve at that time or it is not in the child’s best interest.
Further, having a Will allows you to make provision that might save you money if yours is a taxable estate for Federal Estate provisions. You can also make specific bequests of items that you want to go to a certain person. You may have some item that has been handed down through the family that you want to stay in the family. You may have certain jewelry you want to go to a certain child or niece.
Without a Will, your family may have to go to the Court for Administration which is very expensive, requires bonds, inventories, and court approval of nearly everything that is done. It also prevents your property from going to the people you want it go to. The court will divide your property between your heirs at law. If you are married and have children from a previous relationship this can be very complicated and difficult for your spouse. You will also have no say in who is guardian for your kids. There is a provision in the Texas Probate Code that deals with Descent and Distribution. This covers division of community property, separate property. This will affect you if you have no Will. This may not be the way you want your property to go. Making a Will is much less expensive then not having one and you control what happens with your children and your property.
All adults should also look into having Power of Attorney’s (POA). There are two types of Power of Attorneys’s that you should have. There is the Medical Power of Attorney and the Statutory Power of Attorney. These two documents are designed to avoid guardianship.
The Medical Power of Attorney lets you designate who, whether spouse or someone else, that will make medical decisions for you if you become incapacitated. Once you gain your capacity back to make your own decisions then the person having the power is removed. If you become incapacitated again and have not revoked that Power of Attorney then it is still good.
The Statutory Power of Attorney lets you designate someone, and alternants who will be allowed to make financial decisions for you. This Power of Attorney can be effective Immediately or upon disability. I never recommend to have one effective immediately unless there is some specific limited need such as needing some one to sign closing papers and you are unavailable. This type should be limited in time also.
The Statutory Power of Attorney is very powerful. The person appointed can do anything with your financial holdings that you could do unless you limit the scope of the Power of Attorney. It is important that you pick someone who is financially stable themselves and who has the same values and beliefs as you. The combination of the Medical Power of Attorney and the Statutory Power of Attorney is try to prevent the need for a guardianship upon your disability. If you have neither of these then if something happens and you are incapacitated for some period of time, thens someone will have to apply for a guardianship which can be very costly and time consuming. Power of Attorney’s are designed to avoid guardianship but are not a guarantee of avoiding the guardianship.
If someone wants they can file a guardianship even if POA’s exist. However the person you name in the POA is going to be given preference by the court to be the person appointed in the guardianship unless they are unfit or unwilling to serve. Power of Attorney’s expire upon death and that is when the will directs what is to happen with your estate.
Wills are just a piece of paper and have not legal bearing until probated. They are only probated if there is a need. If you name beneficiaries on all of your financial accounts, this includes checking, savings, money market, life insurance, investment accounts and any other accounts you may have, they will transfer upon submission of your death certificate. The will does not affect these accounts, they transfer to the beneficiary without any probate needed. There is also now a Transfer on Death Deed for Texas property. If you do this document as well and setting up the beneficiaries on all other assets then you will may not need to be probated. The will is there however incase an asset is in the name of the deceased and does not name a beneficiary.
It is very important to get with an attorney and discuss options for your estate planning needs. This again is important for all ages and wether you have kids or not.
Legal matters dealing with family law are very important and decisions made can affect the rest of your life. Some decisions made and agreements reached can not be changed later. Issues involving property division are typically final once signed by the Judge and the time for appeal has passed. This means you may not be able to go back and change a property division even if your spouse promised he would do something different than what is in the decree. Issues of who has the right to claim a child on taxes can become permanent and even if custody changes it might not be able to be changed.
Depending on how the decree is worded you might be giving up rights to property you do not even realize exists. You may be barred from going after that property unless the decree is written to allow you to go after undisclosed property. Texas requires a just and equitable division of property, this does not always mean it should be split 50/50. We will post another blog later about things to consider when dividing property.
When it comes to issues with the children, such as support and visitation and access, these things are subject to modification. There must however be a material and substantial change to be able to request that change. If there are some bad facts from the divorce they will in most cases be barred from evidence in a modification. Modification typically deals with what has happened since the last final order. This makes it important to consult with an attorney on issues of visitation, access and support prior to signing something. Many times I have met with someone who already signed an agreed Final Decree of Divorce which has been signed by the judge. They say they where told by the ex spouse they would do or allow something event though the decree says differently. The ex spouse then uses that leverage when dealing with child related issues or just does not follow thought with it. I then have to explain to them I will most likely not be able to fix the issue with out some substantial change since that last order.
It is also always important to follow the order when it relates to how and when to pay child support, and when and where exchange of the child will happen. If you make any changes to the drop off and pickup always do it in writing. We will have a blog in more detail about issues with paying child support in a way that is different from the order and how to handle visitaion issues when one party is not following the order.
There are many vital issues in the Final Decree of Divorce that if not done correctly, you may be stuck with for remainder of the years the child is a minor. In the event of property issues you may be stuck with it forever.
Please always consult an attorney on any legal issues. This is why we offer a free consultation so people can come see us and get some basic advice without creating that attorney client relationship.